It’s curious to me, naturally. That the 7/7 Bombers ever bombed what they bombed. I think it’s curious to others too, from reading the observer on sunday magazine, which drafted together lots of thoughts around this english jihad. One that struck with me, with a hammer crack, was the theme of alienation, this crossfire between england and somewhere else. Not Pakistani not English and the feel that this middling, muddling could cause a few issues… It struck with me because I kinda had it too. My own story is not unique : my personal history is linked to Ireland. My parents washed up in the UK , part of the disapora that flew out in middle of the twentieth century, when economics drove lots of young irish people abroad. My dad missed it a lot. And held onto his irishness hard. The dancing, the drinking, the music, the gaelic games. My Mum was more the religion. The holy catholic and apostolic church. Or sorry that should have the been The ONE holy and apostlic church. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against religion : I believe in it a lot now, but the Catholic church was pretty full on and pretty, pretty heavy for a kid growing up.
But there is another thing to mention and I only realise it now really when I am writing this: My Dad’s loss at not being in the country he wanted to be, was unspoken but I knew about it. And it put a cloud over things…and made this Being in England somehow second best.
So thats how I really grew up in England but not of England. Different. Pictures of Pope’s in the house, trips back to Ireland every few years. But going back there and not really being part of that either.
For me its kinda fading now : I can pretend to be 100% English like the rest of you now : by the time I got to 18 I could escape the church and noone was really that interested about who I should marry. But I had a little taste of what it must have been like for these guys from Beeston…and I can see a little bit how it might all go wrong.
